Not myself

So... you might think, if I started this blog what's my problem? Because we all have problems, big problems, small ones... but we all have. Some can be solved fast, some will last for days, months, years, or forever.

Well.

What I feel today is....

I haven't been lucky about love and relationships. Especially, 2 years ago I experienced a broke up after a 5 years relationship which was a very big loss and broke my life, splitting my mind and my future in two and making me lose myself which is something we should never do. We should keep ourselves always, it doesn't matter who enter or leave our lifes and which things other people do to us.

The fact is, after this breakage, feeling so empty and so disappointed with the world and with the human beings in general, I have been dancing with the fire and jumping from one place to another place in a way which looked very normal and very exciting and "you are just enjoying your life" for some people, but it wasn't really that nice.

Trying to find your place in this world when you feel such place doesn`t exist makes you feel so lost and empty, and you can make the wrong decision and walk the wrong way.

I met new people. I traveled a lot. I even started a new relationship some time ago.

But these days I realized... I have lost myself.

I forgot myself.

The person who has been traveling, and talking to the people, and started this new relationship trying to do something good and build up something good... is not me.

I lost myself somewhere, and I don't know where.

I used to like that music. I used to enjoy time for myself with a cup of tea, and never felt bored being alone. I used to be so energetic, hated going shopping, a little bit shy, never cared about what I ate so much.

Today... I forgot to do all those things... I don't even know who I am anymore.

I am starting a journey now, to rescue myself wherever I am.

And please, please, please, NEVER lose yourself.

Is probably one of the worst feelings a human being can face in a life.

Is more than a hole in your chest.

Never live your life unconsciously, you are not watching it from outside, you are and will always be the main character of it, and the most important one.

So... what is this place?

I am glad you came.
This is my start, my first post.
I made this blog to help people like you, like me. Thinking about those days you feel so meaningless and sad... and those days you have a burning emotion inside which you cannot share. Those days you feel just cold. You need a hug. You faced a very bad situation. Your life is so messed up and you don't know what to do. You need to SPEAK the emotion and nobody listen. So many times in my life I was about to do a crazy thing when I felt like this and I didn't had any way of sharing it. I know the emotion won't totally fade away, I know the problem won't be fixed, I know I won't repair what they broke, make this person apologize to you, bring him/her back... but writing down and feeling you are alive, breathing with other people who are feeling like you can make a BIG difference.
This is a place for escaping, you can write down what you want, you can share what you want, i won't judge you, I will just read it, listen and stay with you.

Welcome :)